[BOOK] The Midnight Library, A Yearning Call of Undoing Regrets

 

If there is a chance, even a small one, to undo your mistakes and regrets, will you take it?

In this newest sci-fi of famous author Matt Haig, The Midnight Library, might explored this premise. This book was selected and won as Best Fiction in Goodreads Choice Awards 2020. Within these 276 pages long novel, Haig combined beautifully a story of multiverse possibilities, full with philosophy deep talks and anxiety healing journey.

Creating a long list mistakes and vary regrets are not stranger things that happened in person. Including Nora Seed, an adult woman in her mid thirties, which apparently was in some middle life crisis and unsettling condition with no one who cared enough to her, or neither she gave her all to with.

The story was started with a short prologue where a cheerful and hopeful teenager Nora was playing chess with Mrs. Elm, her high school librarian, in the library. We'd get a glimpse of dreamy Nora, talking about future with Mrs. Elm, far away and many possibilities outside cold and wet Bedford, which had been Nora's childhood since long. But suddenly it was interrupted by a call, when a bad news shocked her out and her life began shacking.

Then we moved to next chapter, the 'nineteen years later' where we were introduced with a gloomy still-in Bedford, as adult Nora living her misery life. Living by herself, no parents, having a bad relationship with her only brother, her job was at stake to being jobless, having no dreams whatsoever, failed in her almost married relationship, and clearly in a near suicidal decision. We were also told Nora had been in bad state long before this year's Nora. She's continuing having prescription which apparently helped her to suppress her anxiety.

The condition was worsening until D-1 Nora decided to end her life, when her door's knocked by an attractive young surgeon who once asked her out (but she rejected though, since she's still in a relationship with her ex, I know, sad enough huh?), which Nora might see a glimpse of hope from him, only knowing he's there to inform her cat's dead on the road. No more, no less. The one that got away, eh?

Long short story, believing she's no longer a good cause and any use in this world anymore, Nora ended her life exactly in midnight after leaving a loving message to her brother, by overdrank her prescriptions.

Funny thing was, even on death she seemed also had failed. Instead of staying dead, she arrived in misty limbo, in-between life and death, taking place as a huge library with infinite shelves full of books. In here she's greeted by a librarian which none other than her Mrs. Elm, exactly as she remembered during her teenage era.

Here, Mrs. Elm introduced The Midnight Library, where she's offered to undo her long list mistakes and regrets by living once, twice, until infinite lives more, again and again, by reading different books which led to various possible lives. What she needed was just to mention which regret she hoped to be undone, and by choosing other options, seeing what and how her today's life have been, obviously in another universe. How a small change impacted on greater outcomes, and building her character and her surroundings. From this moment, the real adventure just began rolling.

Nora had tried and lived many lives, where she's sadder, famous, healthier, sicker, incredibly hopeful and lively, being a mother, a wife, a partner, a happy single, and other things. Only to realize that you can have everything and feel nothing. These lives were not hers. Nora Seed in those lives, were her. But also not her.

Until one very last moment, she almost believed that this life was what she wanted. She wanted this moment to last long.

Anyway, Nora Seed's story was far from over.

You really should read it by yourselves. By reading Nora's absurd but also felt too familiar journeys, it might change your view of how life should be. Personally, I really love this book. It is a smooth mix of healing journey, deep talk but also so light we can absorb all values, about dreams and hope, for broken or almost-giving-up people, for us who really want to try to live again, who want to start into the unknown again, dare to live. 

For bonus, here are some of my favorite quotes from the book (it really is impossible to post every lovable quotes, there are too many!):

"And the thing is what we consider to be the most successful route for us to take, actually isn't. Because too often our view of success is about some external bullshit idea of achievement - an Olympic medal, the ideal husband, a good salary. And we have all these metrics that we try and reach. When really success isn't something you measure, and life isn't a race you can win. It's all bollocks, actually.." (Ch. The Tree of Our Life)

"When sometimes feels like a trap is actually just a trick of the mind. She didn't need a vineyard or a Californian sunset to be happy. She didn't even need a large house and the perfect family. She just needed potential. And she was nothing if not potential. She wondered why she had never seen it before" (Ch. Don't You Dare Give Up, Nora Seed!)

"She didn't want to die. And she didn't want to live any other life than the one that was hers. The one that could be a messy struggle, but it was her messy struggle. A beautiful messy struggle." (Ch. Don't You Dare Give Up, Nora Seed!)

"You don't have to understand life. You just have to live it" (Ch. Living Versus Understanding)

"The paradox of volcanoes was that they were symbols of destruction but also life. Once the lava slows and cools, it solidifies and then breaks down over time to become soil - rich, fertile soil" (Ch. The Volcano)