5 Times Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology, is (Personally) Relatable

 

I think at some point us Swifties might just agree that April 19th 2024 marks as our international mourning day, well not exactly mourned of course, thanks to Taylor Alison Swift, once again we all got an album (or should I say double albums?) that we could feel relate and claim as our personal diary.

The Tortured Poets Department is definitely not a 'for everyone' album, but one of her albums that actually having bops here and there. Just like she said, she surely put narcotics in her songs. The more you listen to the songs inside, the more you can't stop listening to them. It's addicting, they're so good.

Aside from the various music she's cooking here, the lyrics are more mature, more poetic, sadder for some, hornier for few, they are so deep you'll feel seen. Releasing the twins, The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology, Taylor gave us 31 songs, 2 hours plus, of riding emotional roller coaster, which, deliciously crawling into our memories.

For me though, I still can recall at least 5 times I am sure Taylor is once again proving that she's just a girl like us, like me, on how relatable her stories sometimes are.

1. The Prophecy

It won't be exaggerating to say that The Prophecy is the highest claimed song by majority single women (or Swifties for the matter). It's the perfect song to describe how relentlessly they put effort to once again believe in love, once again try to fall for men putting their hope that it would be the last chapter, only to find out that it's just a drop of ink in their long lone pages.

Hand on the throttle

Thought I caught lightning in a bottle

Oh, but it's gone again

Sometimes I was thinking that it's just not the one. Even at some point I was asking myself that does 'the one' really exist in this world? Other times, it got me thinking that is this some punishment for my past behaviors or sins, that I hurt people so I need to learn it the hard way too?

Or is this me really gaslighting myself that I was deserved to be unloved in this romantic way. A moment of warm sun (shout out to So Long, London), only to realize that sun always sets and grey sky eventually will replace it.

And it was written

I got cursed like Eve got bitten

Oh, was it punishment?

Putting my best happy mask on, telling the world that I am this great brave woman that doesn't need weaker man, doesn't need some boy that only break his toy, doesn't need some confused guy who won't meet me in the middle. Reciting to the mirror that I deserve better. I won't settle for less.

Only to find myself lonely although I am never be alone.

Clock is ticking, won't lie, don't we live in such judgmental society. They would condemn woman who walk by herself even though she bears jeweled crown. Don't they just see a crone rising whenever certain age has expired?

A greater woman has faith

But even statues crumble if they're made to wait

I'm so afraid I sealed my fate

No sign of soulmates

Despite anyone assuming 'she is too picky, she's just busying herself at the modern slavery, she just want to make some money, her standards are impossible she basically begging for fantasy prince', but all she ever wants is someone who want her company, likes her because of who she really is. Not just the idea of love or accepting her because she's the only available option at the moment.

I am guessing we are all still sane because we believe greater power, God has heard us. Personally even all those cloudy thoughts, I know that despite anything, this road remains the best scenario for me.

A greater woman wouldn't beg

But I looked to the sky and said

Please

Let it once be me

2. Guilty as Sin?

Close as the second one, let's just admit, don't we all have ever been in this phase?

Calling all the delulu girls, how are we feeling when we listen to this song?

He's a paradox

I'm seeing visions, am I bad?

Or mad? Or wise?

It's not always the most serious ones. Few times we let ourselves imagining things for fun only for seconds. Daydreaming of what ifs. Wildest dreams of what we can achieve together or how we spend the time at this seemed-impossible future. I must admit that there are a lot of giggles tracing this song threads.

Clear as sky that this song is for hopeless romantics that scared to make first move but keep it dreaming and close to their minds, there's no such thing as bad thought..... right? (no please it's rhetorical question, obviously bad thoughts still counted lol)

How I long for our trysts

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?

3. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

What is one more broken-heart song for all the unbroken women (or men)?

It's not just for romantically-related breaking down events. Anything can break our hearts. Anyone can shatter our hopeful intentions. Yes we cried. Yes we sobbed 'til our heads spinning. But all those wet trails on puffy eyes eventually only us that were impacted.

So most of the times, we raised our face. Still having bills to pay, not in kids ages anymore. World demands us to run, not just walk. Tiring but okay. As if it tells us "you've got an hour for lunch break, good luck squeezing those manic episodes inside".

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did

Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die

And oh how I ever cried during working days. It actually tortured me how to cope with it when 10 minutes later you need to wrap up your presentation and showing to your boss. It's so funny what a comedic show.

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

Honestly, I have mixed perception of this specifically one sentence. Knowing that every year in our birthdays, it's a tradition to feel as the center of the day. Despite anyone wishing you happy birthday or not, you will always have room for that feeling in you. If I was given only one day so I can embracing that main character energy in my own life film, let it be my birthday.

This one sentence lyric is so odds. I get the point that although on depressed mode, we need to be this sunshine and act like nothing bad happened. It's our birthday ain't it. Society can't handle one more sad birthday girl or boy. We are told to be cheerful, almost as if it's an omen to be sad at this day.

But the truth is, I think it's the first time I am saying this out loud, that I've ever cried during my birthday. Most of the reason is what The Prophecy song about. One more time of realizing that though our intention was good, it's not always reciprocated from the other side. Cut the poison, burn the scar. Was I asking too much, I didn't even want to know. I did not understand.

Thank God though those days of crying ugly on birthdays are over. So yeah, come at me, whatever.

I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art

And nobody even knows

Try and come for my job

4. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Unresolved feeling, full of playing scenario in mind titled as "What Ifs?",

was what sense that I got of listening to this track for the first time. One of her most well-narrated song, made like a movie. We basically can see the scenes on our brains.

The thing about still having an open wound, we always tend to unconsciously scratch it whenever getting ick for like 5 seconds, even though we know it was bad for ourselves. Same thing, it was really hard to move on, when you still following each other lives though only on the internet holograms. It's bad, but sometimes you just want to know 'really that fast for you?' or petty thought of 'are you happier now?'

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment

Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

And I just watched it happen

Whilst you both know that it was never meant to be, you both trying to be decent adults here. Avoiding blocking and unfollowing childish act for the sake of self convincing that 'we don't know what can be happened in the future' or 'we might find our ways back again' or just as simple as parting ways as the so-called friends, although deep down you knew that there was no more friends, only strangers whose laugh you could recognize anywhere (shout out to New Year's Day, anyone?).

Could it be enough to just float in your orbit

Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses

Cooler in theory but not if you force it

To be, it just didn't happen

But have you ever got smaller part of you whispering that if you ripped the band aid strong enough, tissue scar remains wet with pinkish skin, nothing but only tiny scrape could tear it apart again?

So if you want to break my cold, cold heart

Say you loved me

And if you want to tear my world apart

Say you'll always wonder

5. I Hate It Here

Yes, sometimes you're a real tough kid and facing all the insults with big smile. But other times, you just want to run away from them and jumping to another universe, even if it's meant to be living in your own head. As a self proclaimed daydreamer, I was extra seen by this track.

Won't it be fun to not live in this place?

Will it be joyful to have such adventures in those starry-eyed fantasy world?

Dreaming as a debutante in period English drama. Being Elizabeth Bennet, bare feet on the ground, reading a book and boy sober for a while. Or acting like Meg March finding love at her doorstep easily.

But damn, I was Jo March all along.

I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind

People need a key to get to, the only one is mine

I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child

No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears

It really resonates a cowardice move to run away. But I swear, I will be back to fight my monsters, just need five minutes of peaceful imagination.

I'm lonely, but I'm good

I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine

I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose

Despite all these somber sounds like long paragraphs, just like TTPD epilogue said, these chapters are closed now. She was sharing these manuscripts so they're not her stories anymore.

But is it?